


All Alone With You

by Roxascchi



Category: Kyoukai no Kanata, 境界の彼方 | Beyond the Boundary
Genre: Akkey is a ball of self pity, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, and then they go a date, they are just talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roxascchi/pseuds/Roxascchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only the sky could open up, swallow him whole and drenching him in it's ultramarine color, blue, yellows and white, paint him colors that aren't his own in hopes to forget the pain.</p><p>If only I could die. He closed his eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for writing this, but perhaps my imagination. Kinda of in-character, kinda of out-of-character.  
> Inspired by Daidarabocchi - RADWIMPS and All Alone With You - EGOIST (Hence the title).
> 
> And three years later I have read this over and changed some things.

He hated it.

 

He hated that he had no control over it, he hated that he had let it happen again, he hated all the damage he had done, he hated that he had hurt the people he cared for again.

 

He hated himself for being himself.

 

It was petty, really, hating himself over things he had no control over, over a part of himself that only came out to  _ protect _ him, to keep him safe. To hurt others.

 

He wished he had some control over that part of himself. But being a half-youmu meant what it meant, a half. It was like a coin, a side couldn't be brought to the light without the other being flipped over to the darkness. Perhaps if he transformed more he could gain some control over his other self, but the damage was already too much as it already was.

 

He didn't even remember what he had done. It was as if he had fallen asleep then forced awake, taking in his surroundings as if hours had passed, taking in everything he had done.

 

Closing the book he was reading, Akihito turned over, his arms around his stomach, a gesture carried over from his childhood days, to comfort himself, whilst the bench beneath himself dug into his skin, looking into the endlessly blue sky.

 

If only the sky could open up, swallow him whole and drenching him in it's ultramarine color, blue, yellows and white, paint him colors that aren't his own in hopes to forget the pain.

 

_ If only I could die. _ He closed his eyes.

 

The passage of time is relative, people felt it going by faster or slower depending on what they are doing, that being said, he had lost the track of time by the time (ironic isn't it?) he felt someone slid in the bench, lifting his head and placing it in their lap.

 

He didn't even had to open his eyes to know who it was. "What time is it?"

 

"You know, I could be an assailant or a sexual predator. You are so trusting it is despicable, Akkey. By the way, it's 6 PM, you have been in your cocoon of self-depreciation all day long." Hiroomi said as he looked down at the teenager who still had his eyes closed.

 

"It's not that I'm trusting, I just know when to pull my punches." Akihito mumbled as he turned around, moving his head in the other lap trying to find a comfortable position, settling for resting his forehead against his stomach.

 

"You make some very dangerous bets, Akkey." His fingers were treadings through blond locks, in an attempt to tame it. "Some very dangerous bets."

 

"I know." Was the only thing the other said.

 

"I know you understand that. What intrigues me is that even with you understanding it you still do it. Does doing things that you shouldn't turns you on?"

 

"The forbidden fruit is always the sweetest."

 

"Hey Akkey." Hiroomi called for the teenager in his lap, fingers leaving his hair, pushing his face to look upward. "Open your eyes."

 

Akihito slowly opened his eyes, the sunlight blinding him momentarily before his vision was filled with the image of Hiroomi. Hiroomi and his too serious expression, eyes locked with his own.

 

"It's your fault you know." Hiroomi said, eyes never leaving his own. "That Kuriyama-san got hurt, that I got hurt, that that entire forest was burnt out, and if it wasn't for Izumi-oneesama the damage would have extended to the city." The taller one stopped for a moment to catch his breath before continuing.  "No one is else is to blame but you. It was your choices that led up to that situation. If Kuriyama-san haven't stopped you back then, you can imagine what would have happened. Which makes me wonder what kind of bond you two share "

 

"She is a bespectacled beauty after all." Akihito said looking up at the other, a forced smile making its way to his lips.

 

"Or you both know how it's like to think of yourself as a monster, because you are you. It's your choice to remain delusional." Said the taller looking forward, his eyes parting from the other's before looking at him again. "What if you took a losing bet? Would you be able to go through every day of your life with the fact that you killed Kuriyama-san and I? That Ai-chan was left alone because her only living relative died?"

 

"You know I would be able to live with that. I have no other choice. After all I'm immortal. To die is not an option.”

 

"There is always a choice, we just pick the one less damaging but since apparently you are a sadomasochist you always pick the one that hurts the most." His finger went back to the other's hair.

 

"So you'd rather have me let Kuriyama-san go marching straight into her death?"

 

"I'd rather you not put yourself in situations that would drag your youmu side out." The taller one sighed. "You can't afford to take bets, to take chances. If you don't try, nothing would happen. Izumi-oneesama can't continue to overlook you if this continues. Sooner or later the Society will take notice of your misbehavior. Sooner or later you will do something that you won't be able to forgive yourself for. I can only do so much to protect you."

 

"I know you are going to stop me, if it comes to it." Akihito lifted his hand up, shielding his eyes from the sun.

 

"That's really selfish of you. Making me do things I'd rather not."

 

"I'm sorry."  _ I really am _ .

 

"You should be, but being sorry won't change anything, if anything it would only make yourself feel better. Being sorry won't erase the path you've traveled and all the destruction you have left behind in your wake." Hiroomi's hand traveled to the blond's stomach, staying there taking in his warmth. "We only have one possible past, Akkey. But the future is yet to happen, it's a black canvas, that we paint little by little everyday with the choices we made. But the way you are painting it, only have one result, Akkey. Do you want to be forgotten before you had a chance to make a change?"

 

"Right now, I'd probably say yes but that would be my depressed self speaking. But there is still so much out there... I guess no. I don't want to be forgotten. At least not yet." Akihito uttered, his hands going to to join the other's in his stomach.

 

"If that's the path you want to follow, then I'll go along with you." Exposed the older one. "If your hands were to become so stained with red that you won't be able to see what lays beyond, I'll be the one to erase you." Empathized Hiroomi, bring Akihito's hands to his lips and kissing it.

 

"How did you make that sound like a threat, a vow and a promise all together?" Snorted the shorter one in amidst of laugh. "Let us be alone together then." Reassured Akihito.

 

"Everyone is alone. But if a person alone and a person alone gather together, they won't feel as lonely. That is what living means after all." Expressed Hiroomi as he smiled down to the other teenager. "And with that half of my actual objective is over."

 

"And what is the other part, may I ask?" Inquired Akihito.

 

Hiroomi's separated their hands, moving to grab a bag that laid by the side of the bench before dropping it at Akihito's face. "Wear that. We are going on a date."

**Author's Note:**

> What should I write next


End file.
